How to clean puke off of a mattress

I recently had the job of cleaning puke off of Bean's mattress.  As fun as this sounds, I can think of a few more pleasant tasks, though maybe slightly less entertaining.  However, I will share the wisdom I gained from the experience.  Repeat at your own risk:

Step 1:  Pretend NOT to hear your six year old doing her fake gag at 9:00PM.

Step 2:  Get nervous when you realize that even though it is fake, it's gone on long enough that it is soon gonna be........ewwww

Step 3:  Open the kids' bedroom door, trying not to wake up the other two sleeping children and are greeted with a cheerful, "Look what I did, Mommy!  Say, can I have a glass of water?"

Step 4:  Tell her, "I'll be back in one second."  Close the door and walk to the kitchen.  Sit in a fetal position and scream into your thighs.  Walk back to their room.

Step 5:  Look at your child and say, "No water right now, sweetie.  We should let your stomach have a few minutes to rest."

Step 6:  [gag, Gag, GAG] as the new odor in their room hits your nostrils.

Step 7:  Try NOT to puke while holding your breath.

Step 8:  Tell your child to get extra blankets to make a pallet on the floor while you use every single diaper wipe you can find to surface clean the mattress.  In the dark.

Step 9:  Place all contents on her bed into a garbage bag and haul mattress to garage for deep cleaning the next day.  Outside!

Step 10:  Curl up with your other daughter who woke up when you rustled the garbage bag.

Step 11:  Try not to wake up said daughter when the older child finishes off the stomach-stress job on the pallet  and her hair, pajamas, closet door, floor.....

Step 12:  Send child to the shower.  Load up everything from the pallet into another garbage bag for tomorrow's deep cleaning block party.

Step 13:  Practice Lamaze breathing techniques while reaching into the shower to help your daughter get all of the remains out of her long, long, long, hair.

Step 14:  Make another pallet on the kitchen floor near the bathroom and tell her she has to be puke free for one hour if she wants any water.

One hour later:
Step 15:  Give cup of water to a very cheerful and proud kiddo.

Next day:
Step 16:  Plug in handheld deep cleaner (ever house with small kids should have one of these) and begin working on the mattress and bag contents.

Step 17:  Haul mattress into the sunshine and sprinkle with a homemade paste of vinegar, baking soda, rosemary leaves and peppermint leaves.

Step 18:  Accidentally forget about the mattress with it's cleaning paste on it for an entire day.

Step 19:  Thoroughly wipe off paste.

Step 20:  Put newly bought vinyl mattress protector on mattress before putting the freshly cleaned sheets back on.

Step 21:  Celebrate with a few scoops of ice cream after the kids' bedtime.  :-)