For the parents, it is far worse.
I can honestly say I have encountered very few things in life that have stretched my patience, temper and creativity as much as than potty training our children. And even more frustrating: the same method does not work with each child!
Our third child, Bitty is in the final (ly) stages of potty training. It has been a long road with her. The longest so far. However, I am pleased to report that I am no longer being kicked in the (pregnant) gut by her when I sit her on the toilet. It does help I am no longer pregnant, however she has also learned this is inappropriate and unexceptionable. A couple weeks ago, we experienced something that had been allusive to us for many months: and entire day without a wet or soiled accident from her. Even better was the fact she was not holding it all in, she expelled into the toilet without a fight!
And then an amazing thing happened. Bitty going to the potty turned into a dreaded event to a stand up comedy routine! We get this floor show several times a day now.
The OCD proactive parent, (in a whispered voice to the other) "When was the last time Bitty went P-O-T-T-Y?" The other parent replies in a direction to the kids, "Bitty, it's time to go potty!"
Bitty at this point, stands up and runs with animated waddling that only a three year old can achieve. She then comes running back out and exclaims, "there is toilet paper IN the potty!!!" "Oh," comes our usual reply. "It's ok. But if it bothers you, you can flush it before you sit down." She then pulls her hands up, works her fingers into a fist and holds them close to her face as if she's pushing really hard on something. "Really hard?"
"Yes, really hard."
"Like this?" and she clenches her entire body up.
"Yup!"
"Ok!"
Flop, flop, flop, flop back to the bathroom.
"Really hard?" comes the question again.
"Yup, really hard!"
"Ok!"
FfffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffLUSH!
Clop goes add-on seat.
Clop goes stool for feet.
(trickle, trickle, trickle)
"I GO PEE-PEE! I GO PEE-PEE! I GO PEEEEEEEEE-PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" She vocalizes from the bathroom.
When she pauses to breathe, we ask her if she has any poop coming.
"Nope. No poop."
* she pronounces it p-ew-p, because I know you really want to know....
Now it's time to remind her to wipe her bum.
"With three squares?"
"Yes, three squares."
"This much?"
"Sure!"
10 seconds of silence later
"Can I get down?"
"Yes, don't forget to flush the potty and wash your hands."
"O-KAAAAY!"
Flop, flop, flop, flop out the bathroom.
She comes up to us, with only her shirt on. She then pulls her hands up again, works her fingers into a fist and holds them close to her face as if she's pushing really hard on something. "Really hard?"
"Yes, really hard."
"Like this?" and she clenches her entire body up again.
"Yup!"
"Ok!"
Flop, flop, flop, flop back to the bathroom.
"Really hard?" comes the question again.
"Yup, really hard!"
"Ok!"
FfffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffLUSH!
"BYE-BYE PEE-PEE!" When her voice sounds unaturally echoey, we call out, "Bitty, get your face away from the toilet!"
Flop, flop, flop, flop out of the bathroom. Still sporting just a shirt.
"I flush the potty!"
"Great job, Bitty! Now it's time to wash your hands and put your panties and shorts back on."
"Ok!"
Flop, flop, flop, flop back to the bathroom.
Flop, flop, flop, flop out of the bathroom, carrying the soap dispenser. Modeling just the shirt.
"Can you help me get soap?"
"Sure thing." We squirt the soap onto her hands and then follow her back to the bathroom to make sure the water gets turned on (and off). We then usually walk out of the bathroom as she is drying her hands. This is logical--everyone wants their privacy when wiping water off their fingers.
Flop, flop, flop, flop out of the bathroom. Yup, only the shirt.
"Bitty. You need to get your panties and shorts on."
"Oh. Where are they?"
"Probably in the bathroom."
"Ok!"
Flop, flop, flop, flop back to the bathroom.
Flop, flop, flop, flop out of the bathroom. (sigh) At least the shirt is still on.
"My panties are not flat. Can you please flat them?" This is Bitty's unique way of asking us to help get her panties right-side out. We are not sure how she came up with the word, 'flat,' but I suppose there are other odd word definitions out there such as: Prunes, which except for their first letter, do not taste or look like the original plum.
Speaking of prunes--while we are straightening out her panties, we ask her, "Are you sure you don't have any poop coming? Remember, keep your panties clean and dry! No pee or poop in panties!"
"Nope! No p-ew-p coming. I keep my pretty panties clean and dry!"
"Good! Here's your panties and here are your shorts!"
"Ok! Thank you!"
At this point, our attention is usually diverted by another kid climbing on the coat-rack hooks or pouring water into jar candles. A few minutes later, we notice that Bitty is walking around in....just the shirt. Her panties are shorts are smashed together by her knee-caps and she is walking around like a knot-kneed t-rex. Most of the time she's sounding like one as she can't pass up an opportunity to tease her sister in time-out.
"Bitty! we exclaim. "Bop is in time out! Please leave her alone! You also need to get your panties and shorts back on!"
"Oh! Ok!"
We watch v.e.r.y. c.a.r.e.f.u.l.l.y to make sure the panties go back on her bum this time. Obviously we don't remember well, because this scene repeats itself many times during the day. We also watch to make sure the shorts get back on as well.
And away she goes!
Floppity, floppity, floppity, floppity back to her toys.
That is, until about thirty minutes later when the OCD proactive parents turns to the other parent and wonders out loud, "How long has it been since Bitty went P-O-T-T-Y?"
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